Put me in charge . . .*
- Put me in charge of food stamps. I would ban Ding Dongs; Ho Ho’s and only allow money for staples and basics, and even then only from discount grocery stores that I approve. If you want expensive steaks, frozen pizza, or Trader Joe’s then figure out a way to earn your own money to pay for it (hint: if you can do that then you do not need my charity, so maybe work on meeting your needs before hitting me up for wants.)
- Put me in charge of health care. The first thing I’d do is to require women of child-bearing age who are not medically disqualified to be on Norplant birth control implants or tubal ligations. Then, we’ll test recipients for drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and document all tattoos and piercings. If you want to reproduce or use, alcohol, smoke or get tats and piercings or get a Prop 215, then you are on your own.
- Put me in charge of government housing. You will maintain our property in a clean and good state of repair. Your “home” will be subject to inspections anytime and possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or Xbox 360, then get a job and your own place.
- Your transportation will be basic; you will be housed near public transportation (so if you live in the country you will be moved) and as you progress we’ll talk about letting you buy a car, but then only to facilitate earning a better living so that you can go off of my tab.
The whole time, you will either present a check stub from a job or records of a legitimate job search each week or you will report to a “government” job… in other words, if you can’t find something to do then I will find something for you to do. It may be cleaning the roadways of trash, painting and repairing public housing, whatever we find for you. You WILL pull your pants up, remove the tats and piercings, cut your hair, bathe, and dress and present yourself in an acceptable manner conducive to impressing a potential employer. We will sell your 22 inch rims and low profile tires and your blasting stereo and speakers and put that money into an interest bearing escrow account that you may withdraw upon leaving the public dole.
All of this would be totally voluntary. You are asking for the money that the rest of us worked very hard to earn and are living under our roof; we are feeding and clothing you and seeing to your health needs. In short you are our ward and have the choice of accepting our rules or moving along. Our money. our rules. In the process you will be doing something to get your act together and develop esteem and respect for both yourself and others. There is nothing more demeaning than being a tapeworm on perpetual charity.
I would end the system of rewarding poor judgment, bad decisions and anti-social attitudes and use your life mistakes as teachable moments. If I am expected to help you then you are obligated to help yourself, or, again, hop a Greyhound and move on to the next sucker.
The government employees or private sector contractors who distribute my charity to you will be required to document constant positive results in the form of successfully transitioning recipients from being kept by me like a dog in a kennel to being productive members of society. Those ratings will be reviewed periodically and employees or contractors who fail to meet my standards will be fired.
Those employees, both those who work directly for the government and those who work for contractors administering the program will not be allowed to join a union, nor will they be civil service. They will only keep their jobs so long as they meet the standards for performance.
AND, finally… for the duration of your dependence on me, you will not be allowed to VOTE! Yes that is correct. For you to vote would be a conflict of interest – to say the least. And by viture of the very fact that you cannot survive without my charity proves that you are not capable of making sound decisions, nor should you have the ability to access what I earn without my having veto power. You will voluntarily remove yourself from voting while you are receiving my charity. If you want different, then get a job.
That’s what Mark Williams would do, what would you do if you were in charge?
Don’t like any of the above? Good, neither do I. Tea Partiers will instantly get 2 points from this article: (1) That the same control goes for anybody on the taxpayer dime, corporations included, and the more of that dime that they are on the more control I have and the less they have; and (2) The entire point of this article is those to whom you sell your freedom own you and that the entire point of the United States of America is that no Man may be owned by another as portended above. The entire Constitution is constructed to prevent any citizen from having their freedom stripped away by others, including the freedom to sell one’s self into slavery.
Now, re-read the article and think.
* click here to read the original post as authored by Alfred W Evans