1600 Pennsylvania Avenue NW
Washington, DC 20500
Dear Mister President,
As a native American, of African descent (from the same African Nation as are you Kenya – the Rift Valley Province to be specific, just like every other human on the planet) and long-time customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance.
It has come to my attention that you have unilateral authority to award public benefits and relief from law and bestow various benefits of your choice, at your discretion, to those among us, who are not US Citizens as defined by the Constitution of these United States, as amended; and without regard to any Constitutional jurisdiction over such matters as may be granted to the Congress, the several states and the people as may appear in that old and obsolete document.
Therefore, I am requesting your instruction on how to change my status from U.S. Citizen to Illegal Alien (or, Undocumented Worker/Immigrant/Alien – , as you wish) in order that I may enjoy the many privileges, benefits, affirmative action opportunities, and; exemptions from local, state and federal laws that come with such a designation..
Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal/undocumented retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me, as I have paid a considerable amount in taxes, and have been required to adhere to a spider’s web of regulations, laws, requirements and standards from which ‘Undocumented Aliens” are excused. I would be of considerable help to my family and me to pursue reparations for these past oppressions as well, which we have suffered solely as a consequence of being legal citizens of this country.
Additionally, as an Undocumented Alien, I could begin using the local emergency room as my free, primary health care as well as access reduced education expenses and full tuitions, along with a variety of other benefits and be immune from routine police matters as may involve me.
Lastly, I understand that illegal/undocumented status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver’s license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that your economic policies have decimated my retirement, income and all but guarantee that I will never receive Social Security.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative.
Thank you for your assistance.